


Lean on Me

by theclaravoyant



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Amnesia, Gen, Post-Framework
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-23
Updated: 2017-02-23
Packaged: 2018-09-26 11:00:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9892472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theclaravoyant/pseuds/theclaravoyant
Summary: May has developed some cognitive issues after her extended time in the Framework, and Fitz takes it upon himself to help as much as he can.





	

**Author's Note:**

> The behaviours Fitz exhibits in this fic are largely drawn from the "how to support someone with memory loss" section of the Alzheimers Society UK website, as well as my own other learning about how to support people with dementia etc.
> 
> (and I know who Katja is, I'm just not sure Fitz would immediately know)
> 
> Title from Lean On Me by Bill Withers

The first thing Fitz could remember from after the Framework was Jemma hugging him and sobbing. Bawling her eyes out. He’d been replaced by an LMD he had attacked her, she’d killed the fake version of him and it had been graphic and heartbreaking, and all of that was crashing down on her as he only just started to climb out of the daze. He hugged her back for as long as he could, before his turn came to be poked and prodded and have his eyes and ears and every other sense tested and answer inane questions about his name and date of birth. 

All the while, Jemma wasn’t far away. She sat on an empty bed nearby, watching him until the medics came around and forced her attention on them as they tended to her bruised and bloody, sweaty face. In the end, he was done before she was, and one of the medical team called him away. 

“Agent Fitz,” the doctor said. “Could you come help us, with May? I think it’d be good for her to see a familiar face, and you’re the best candidate under the circumstances.”

Fitz looked back over his shoulder to Jemma. More than anything he wanted to be with her, but if something was wrong with May and he could help, he couldn’t let that slide. 

“Of course,” he said. “Lead the way.”

They led him out of the emergency bay they’d set up, and down a hall, and into a room with an observation window. The doctor had a hushed conversation with two nurses while Fitz looked through the window at May, who sat alone on her bed in a hospital gown, with a dazed look on her face. 

“Agent Fitz,” the doctor said, calling his attention back. “We believe Agent May has developed some cognitive issues from her time in Doctor Radcliffe’s Framework. She appears to have some form of dementia, although observation may help us pinpoint it more accurately. Of course, she’s also likely to be very disoriented and confused, but we’d like to do a brain scan to confirm. Would you be able to help us get her to consent?” 

Fitz looked back at May. She looked like a zombie, like she would have done anything they’d asked, even if they’d had to physically move her limbs to do it. Fitz knew better than to assume that was the case, of course, but it was still unnerving to see her like that. At least the doctors were bothering to make an effort to garner her consent, he granted, rather than write her off as not in her right mind and issue their consent as her own. Still – 

“I’m not sure I’m…qualified to do that,” Fitz objected. “I mean I have no medical expertise at all and if you’re talking about my own injury, it didn’t compromise my memory.” 

The doctor shook his head. 

“Expertise is our job, Agent. _Understanding_ is your priority. All you have to do is let her know that we’re trying to help her, and that we need to do an MRI, a CAT scan and an EEG. Are you familiar with those?” 

“Frustratingly so,” Fitz agreed. “Alright. Are you sure?” 

The doctor nodded, an after exchanging a few more details, instructed Fitz to head into May’s room. The door slid open and Fitz stepped inside, and he could feel his heart in his throat all of a sudden.

“Hey,” he said, in a crooning tone. He grimaced and fixed it. “Hey, it’s uh – remember me? It’s Fitz.” 

May tilted her head, peering at him as if she remembered him from somewhere but she couldn’t recall the place or time. 

“Do you understand me?” Fitz asked, signing as he went, just in case. “Can you hear me? Do you understand what I’m saying?” 

She still seemed confused – perhaps by his gestures – but she nodded. 

“Do you know where you are?” Fitz asked. 

“No.” 

He jumped, just a little, just surprised that she could speak. That she _would_ speak. But of course, her injury was different from his.

“I don’t think I know you,” May explained. “Are you Coulson?” 

“No. Fitz. I’m Fitz. Well actually, my name is Leopold Fitz, technically, but I don’t like people calling me that.” 

May’s eyes darted to the floor all of a sudden. “The Cavalry,” she murmured. Then, just as suddenly, she looked back up at Fitz. 

“Where’s Katja?” 

“I’m sorry, I don’t know Katja.” 

“Wasn’t she with me? When you found me? Where did you find me? Take me there.” 

She got up and went to the door, but she couldn’t figure out how to open it. It was a simple mechanism, but she had neither the card nor a chip, and didn’t seem to be aware that was what was required. Fitz pressed his thumb into the palm of his hand. 

“I’m sorry, May,” he said, “but we can’t leave yet. Did the doctors tell you what happened?” 

“Computer,” May mumbled. “My brain thinks it’s wrong.” 

“Sort of, yeah,” Fitz agreed. “You remember some things that didn’t actually happen, and you don’t remember things that did actually happen. For example, you have met me before, lots of times. We work together. But in the computer, which is what you remember, we didn’t.” 

Finally, she gave up on the door and turned back to him. 

“So I don’t – “ she stammered, trying to get her brain around it. “I don’t know what reality is? My whole life is… not real?”

“You have a real life, a very real life,” Fitz assured her. “It just might be a little different from the one you think. But I promise you: everyone in this building wants to help you. That is real. And in a little while, we can help you figure out some things that are real and not real that you remember, but for now the doctors need to do some scans of your brain. Is that okay?” 

May winced. “For the computer?”

“No, these are different scans,” Fitz promised. “They help tell us if the computer hurt your brain and maybe how we can help make it better. We can help by talking and things, but we might also be able to help with some surgery or medication if you want. As well as that, we can also make sure that nothing dangerous has happened, like if you have any tumours or bleeding or pressure where there shouldn’t be any. Okay? So the scans help us help you.” 

“Will they help me remember?” 

“No. Not by themselves. They might help us figure out why you can’t remember things though, and then we can help you.” 

“Okay. But I want to see Katja. And Andrew. Can I call him first?” 

Fitz looked back over his shoulder. Just for a second. His heart dropped and he felt for a second like he was standing in a turbulent plane. Before he could fix it and meet May’s eyes again, his sinking feeling had apparently spread. 

“The things I remember,” May said slowly. “Katja. Andrew. They’re not real, are they?” 

Fitz bit his lip, and wished he had pockets he could slip his hands into. He pressed his palm again. 

“I really don’t know Katja,” he insisted. “She might be real, she might not, I’m not sure. I’ll ask the team to look for her if you want, but Andrew? He was real. You two really were married once. You – ah – you split up for a little while and he, um. He died, May. I’m really sorry.” 

She nodded to herself, retreating back inside herself as she crawled back onto the bed. She curled up at the pillow end, hugging her knees. Tears fell quite freely down her cheeks and Fitz rocked from one foot to the other. Things were beginning to get uncomfortably intimate. He felt like he shouldn’t look at her; like she’d just undressed in front of him or something. 

“It wasn’t your fault, what happened to him,” Fitz insisted. “He died doing a very brave thing. He saved someone’s life." 

May smiled briefly. “Thanks.” 

“I know it’s not much, but I’m glad it helped. The person he saved is very close to us actually. You’ll meet her later.” 

“Is it Katja?”

“N-No.” Fitz pressed his lips together. How fast was she forgetting information? How much was she retaining? _How many times_ would she have to hear that Andrew was dead? 

“I don’t know Katja,” he continued, trying not to let on that they’d covered this before. It would only frustrate and upset her, and that was one area in which he could say with certainty, he had shared experience. “Remember, the computer made you think some things are real that are not real. We have to check if Katja’s real. I’ll ask somebody to look for her in a few minutes.” 

“I want to talk to her.” 

“I know. I’ll do everything I can to make that happen, I promise.” 

“Is she dead?” 

“We’ll have to find out, unfortunately.” 

“The Cavalry. What’s the Cavalry? I remember – Katja, I have to see her.”

May got off the bed again and went to the door. She still didn’t have the card or chip, and struggled to figure out how to operate it. Fitz’ heart clenched and his eyes filled with tears. He wiped them away quickly and took a deep breath. He had a terrible, terrible feeling he knew who Katja might be. But he couldn’t do that to May without confirmation, and he couldn’t get confirmation until he left this room, and he couldn’t leave this room until May had agreed to do the brain scans. 

“Hey, May, look at me,” he beckoned. 

She turned. She looked a little dazed this time. 

“Did I do that before? I feel like I just…” 

Fitz walked over to her, and walked with her to the bed. She sat down without question, her eyes distant, trying to sort through the mess in her mind. 

“A lot of things are going to be really confusing right now,” Fitz assured her. “Some things might not ever stop being confusing. But I’m going to be right here with you, okay? Everyone here wants to help you, I want to help you. Try not to worry about things you can’t remember. We’ll sort it all out. Do you remember what I said before about the brain scans?” 

May nodded. “They’re to help keep me safe?" 

“Yeah, exactly. Do you think you can do the scans now? I can get my friends to look for Katja while you do them and then we can talk about it after. Does that sound fair?” 

“Okay. As long as you don't leave.” 

“Okay. We have a deal.”


End file.
